genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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