i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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