bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
