Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
