i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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