I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
