Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
