she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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