i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
