yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
