would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
