It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
