with your own penis?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
