You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
