Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
