It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
