Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
