All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
