Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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