Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
