Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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