wakey wakey hands off snakey
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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