ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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