Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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