i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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