it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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