I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
