dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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