is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize