There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
