Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
