So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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