tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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