Got a toothbrush?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So many bounce houses so little time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
