Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize