Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
