I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
