can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We are all done wearing pants today
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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