i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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