Please, let me fuck your mom
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
jump out the window naked night went bad
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