so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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