im drinking this country out of the recession.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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