her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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