wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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