I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
