where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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