ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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