Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
