apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
