at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
