I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize