Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
