Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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