There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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