There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
