Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
