i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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