Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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