so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
