Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
